Pen problem
When asked to sign a document a doctor pulled
a rectal thermometer out of his pocket, "damn!""
A man appears before the pearly gates…
A man appears before the Pearly Gates
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?""
I can fly
Three men were on top of the empire state building. The first man's name was Clark the second man's name was Joey and the thirds name was Jo Momma. Joey was drunk so Clark decided to play a little joke on him. Clark said," Yo Joey if u jumped of this building tbe air would bring u rite back up!"" So Joey said
Yo mama
Yo Mama is so poor, someone went into her house and stepped on a lighted match: and she said "Hey
O.J.’s kids:)
There was a mother duck,a mother skunk,a baby duck,and a baby skunk.They all came up on a busy highway.The mothers decided it would be best if they went first.As they were crossing an 18 wheeler came through and made them road-kill.Then the baby duck started crying,so the baby skunk said,"Whats wrong?""The duck answered saying ""My momma died and i don't know what I am
Tee Hee Hee…….
There were 101 nuns in a convent, Mother Superior and 100 Sisters. One sunday, all of the nuns were kept in after praying. Mother Superior stood before them and announced that there had been a MAN in the convent last night.
99 Nuns went "Oh no!""
1 Nun went ""Tee Hee Hee!""
Mother Superior then went on say that a condom had been found in the corridor.
99 Nuns went ""Oh NO!!""
1 Nun went ""Tee Hee Hee!!""
Then
Eel Sex
Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister
and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while
What Am I?
Out in the country walked a family of ducks together. A mother, father and baby. As they attempted to cross the road, a car came speeding down he lane hitting and killing the mother and father duck, leaving the baby duck all by itself. Sadly, the baby duck began to wander around.
About a half mile down the same road a family of skunks attempted to cross the road. Once again, a car came speeding down the lane killing the mother and father skunk. The baby skunk didn't know what to do so he wandered about as the duck did.
Eventually, the baby duck and baby skunk met up with each other. Happy for company the duck began to speak. "I was walking with my family and they were hit and killed just now. I am so young I don't even know what I am...will you help me?"" The baby skunk looked at the baby duck and said ""Well
Christmas Morning
Early one Christmas morning, Suzy, a shapely young woman was sitting by the fireplace eagerly but patiently awaiting the arrival of old St.Nick. After a few hours and even a few more heavily laced bourbon egg-nogs she heard a noise on the roof and sure enough Santa was soon standing before her.
"Have you been naughty or nice this year?"" he asked.
Suzy had been nice all damn year and was ready to do the other thing. While Santa placed his gifts around the tree Suzy was busy taking off her blouse. He turned around and heard her say ""Santa...can you please stay?""
Thinking of all the childeren who were awaiting presents
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